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The primary women in my life as I grew up were my mother, grandmother andaunt. No matter what the circumstances of their marriages, the jobs,children or lives, they fell back upon each other in adversity and trial,like pioneers circling the wagons at night on the prairie. Each of themwere dark beauties, all could sing and write and paint, all were morevibrant than any of the men who were around. How could I help not being inthrall to women? In my case this thrall became a desire to serve and worship women, and howelse could it be? I remember as a young boy, talking the baby sitter intotying me to a chair with a jump rope, and being disappointed that she tiedit so loosely that I could easily escape. When I was in fourth grade, andwas being vulgar to April Blake, the prettiest girl I knew, she slapped myface hard and then looked me in the eye and told me to watch my language.She knew, and I knew, that I was not going to hit her back. I was her peonfor many years after that. I also felt. The Program put us together. It's true I was going to make a move on her, but I thought it would take time. The Program threw us together. Another thing you should know is that I've been chatting Krissy up online for several weeks now. Even with the Program, she only put things together last night when I all but spelled out the connection for her." Hmmm. It sounds like the two of you would have got together eventually." Maybe. But how do I know if this relationship isn't based on the Program? I've even go so far as to plan a date out based on the knowledge I got from the Program. You might say I'm getting such an advantage in learning what she likes and wants that I'm worried that she'll be reacting to that. All these advantages and the Program added in makes me wonder, how do I really know if she has any interest, or is this just the Program at work between us? How do I know if this is what she is really feeling?" You don't." What do you mean?" I mean you don't know. You can't know.
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